Truth and Nonviolence
As he sat down, I got the quick sense that his world was a terrifying place to be; Filled with monsters and atrocities that are lying in wait, eager to consume and shame the very essence of who he is. I spent the better part of my morning trying to show him that I was not one of those monsters, to no avail. His fear was too overwhelming for him, and subsequent revelations on my end unveiled a web of lies that seemed to extend into infinity.
I felt like a monumental failure, and it made me angry. I told him how I felt, and I wasn’t very nice about it. I saw how my words were slicing into him, but I couldn’t stop, in fact, I’m pretty unclear on most of what I said. It ended with, “I hope you figure this shit out,” followed by, “I will pray for you”. Mean, condescending, AND prideful. Way to knock it out of the park, Eberhardt…ugh… I was actually ashamed of my behavior for the rest of the day and into the next. I thought long and hard about that; what was I feeling shame for? I felt guilty for raising my voice and being angry, for sure, but where was the shame coming from?
It took Creator two books, several conversations with others, and a movie for me to finally figure it out. My shame stemmed not only from the lack of kindness in my delivery but also from the absence of peace in the exchange. I would like to think that my delivery was exactly what it needed to be, that it had a positive impact on him, and that it happened the way it did because it was for the greatest good of all, but the fact is, I don’t know. What I do know, however, is that raising my voice at someone else is a form of violence, and sometimes I think it is the only way I will be heard. Ignorant, mean, and violent. I have been working very diligently with this part of me, but I see I still have some work to do. I will. It is that important to me. It is part of me. It’s a part of the God in me.
What I also know is that I have uncovered something very valuable to me. Something that has always been there, but I didn’t realize its value until now: “Harm None”. I see that includes me and feel myself lighten up a bit. It feels good to know that I hold the idea of love and compassion in such high esteem, and with this knowledge, I see that I really am different than I was. All the slips, stumbles, and falls help me realize that my journey is not one of perfection but of growth as I learn and practice how to outwardly express the Divine within myself. They do not mean that I am a monumental failure.
“I AM Good - I AM God,” I whisper—a silent affirmation of the interconnectedness of all beings and the inherent goodness within each of us.
“Namaste’.”
-“The Divine in me honors and recognizes the Divine in you, that place where we are one.”
